Outchurched

Shocking news… Americans are unprepared for Armaggeddon…

WASHINGTON, DC—Over 87 percent of Americans are unprepared to protect themselves from even the most basic world-ending scenarios, according to a study released Monday by the nonpartisan doomsday think-tank The Malthusian Institute.

Despite “more than ample warning” for the most likely means of worldwide destruction, less than one million American households have taken even the simplest precautions against nuclear shockwaves, asteroid impact, or a host of angels bearing swords of fire, the study concluded.

“Our survey of households in seven U. S. regions demonstrated that few citizens have bothered to equip themselves with fireproof suits and extinguishers to deal with volcanic upheaval, solar flares, or the Lord’s purifying flame,” Malthusian Institute director James Olheiser said. “Almost no one is prepared for a sudden shift in the Earth’s polarity or the eating of the Sun and moon by evil wolves Skol and Hati during Ragnarok.”

(Full article at The Onion)

This entry was posted by Rev. Dan on Wednesday, September 13th, 2006 at 12:03 pm and is filed under Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.