Non-News: Baptist Convention is a Gaggle of Dicks (That Don’t Touch Each Other)
by: Rev. DanFrom Fox News (h/t Dirty Devil):
It’s non-news that the Baptist State Convention is a club for dicks and assholes (who do not come into contact with each other), but here’s the story anyhow:
Baptist Convention Expels North Carolina Church for Welcoming Gays
GREENSBORO, N.C. — Delegates to the Baptist State Convention have voted overwhelmingly to expel a Charlotte church for welcoming gays and lesbians without trying to change them.
Myers Park Baptist Church became the first to be kicked out under rules passed at last year’s meeting. Those rules say any Baptist church that affirmed or endorsed homosexual behavior would be considered not to be cooperating with the convention.
The vote by the nearly 3,000 delegates came after two of the church’s leaders called on them to open their hearts to homosexuals who want to worship with them and to respect local autonomy in interpreting the Bible.
But convention president Allan Blume told the meeting that the Bible calls on believers to turn away from sin. He also suggested that Myers Park Baptist was mostly interested in seeking publicity for its views, not in trying to work within the Baptist State Convention.
Let’s help the Baptist State Convention come up with a new motto/advertising slogan… I’ll start:
BSC: We only want your money if you’re straight.
BSC: Jesus don’t love no faggots.
BSC: Loving straight people the way only Jesus can.
BSC: God made me genetically predisposed to obesity, but being gay is a totally sinful lifestyle that God abhors.
Sodom and Gemorrah – the Homosexual conspiracy
Jesus only loves you if you haven’t got a winkie
Don’t play with his – Jesus will come and beat you
offupSucking the Schlong is Wrong!
How to be Gay the Jesus Way
The BSC: Straight, remarried divorcees welcome, gays in a monogamous relationship can stay away.
BSC: Don’t get behind me, Satan!