Outchurched

Since everything you do as a Christian is representative of your Faith (or lack thereof), then you desperately need the Clueless Follower Points that an item like this provides.

Really, though, isn’t the Christian religion itself just kitsch, therefore making wearing something like this a non-ironic “Statement of Faith?”

I should take a look for a Christian Artist’s Creed (”Christian” and “Artist” feel remarkably wrong to use in the same sentence), but instead I’ll start it and perhaps y’all can help me finish it up…

• All works should glorify God and therefore should not invoke or require critical thinking about anything which is clearly condemned in the Bible. Therefore, no happy gay people are allowed, no Muslims, no Jews, no shellfish.
• If it requires thought to understand the work, then obviously the artist sucks. Using one’s brain is diametrically opposed to expressions of Faith Satanic.
• The only acceptable symbols for use in Christian Art(tm) are the cross, the dove, a Christmas Tree, and uh one I’m forgetting. All other symbols are the work of man, and therefore Satanic. Your art can only be truly Christian if it has a Cross, the Clean-Shaven White Anglo-Saxon Hippie Jesus, or the like. All other art is from the Deepest and Darkest Pits of Hell(tm) if it omits one of these features.
• If looking at the picture causes the viewer to express any emotion other than complete submission to the Omnipresent and Omnipotent Will of God(tm) then it’s Satanic.
• Anthromorphic vegetables are ok, as long as they talk about Jesus a lot. Otherwise their abominable selves will be condemned to the steamer and lightly sauteed with butter afterwards.

(h/t Stragglyr Chris)

This entry was posted by Rev. Dan on Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 at 12:40 pm and is filed under Christlikeness?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.